It seems these days we see lots of memes and funny videos about the world of introverts. Most of my favorite people are introverts. We like to make jokes about the sticky situations introverts find themselves in when they are caught with their back to the wall in social situations. Often these memes give us insight on what is going on in their minds when it seems the outside world just doesn’t understand them.
While I’ve become very acquainted on living with an introvert, I am myself quite the extrovert. Sometimes we extroverts become the punch line of comedic situations involving our introvert friends, and it seems to me many people believe we extroverts are impervious to hurt feelings, embarrassment, or any number of other emotions that might come our way.
The truth is we extroverts deal with our own share of misconceptions, so here is a bit of my own story on what my childhood was like growing up as an extrovert. I was an active child full of laughter. I wasn’t afraid of much. I was at ease speaking my mind as I grew older, but I wasn’t always that way in my younger days. I was also a good kid. I got along with teachers even if they did think I talked too much in class. I was baptized when I was eight years old and took rather seriously the idea of my Christian identity. Consequently, I never spoke a single “cuss word” in my life until I was 16 years old. I believed in goodness, good guys, and doing the right thing, whatever that was.
But here’s the funny thing. Four or five moms of some of my friends thought I was a bad influence on their son when I hung out with them. I could name all these people, but I won’t. Some of these moms truly thought I would lead their little boys astray. I have no idea why they felt like that, but I was told this numerous times, by either my friends or their mom themselves. I didn’t really let it bother me, but I did find it peculiar. The irony, if this is the right word, is that over time at least three of these friends ended up actually dealing drugs. Sure, I did drugs back then like so many other teens in the seventies, but the last thing I would have ever done is actually DEAL drugs! I was never a ring leader the way some of these moms imagined me. I was just loud, happy and not afraid to be myself or speak my mind. Meanwhile, their boys were picking up drugs from dealers and selling them to all their peers in high school. Most of my so called “firsts” came from hanging out with some of these friends whose moms thought I was the bad influence on them. My first time ever smoking pot, or my first time sneaking out and drinking beer came from older friends who had access to these things when I didn’t. Yet somehow their mom thought I was the bad influence instead of the other way around. Even over friends that were older than me, if you can figure that one out.
What I’ve learned over the years is that we extroverts often get the brunt end of things when a situation goes sideways. Simply because we make ourselves a target. People become comfortable picking on us because they learn we can take it. Years later, when I was working for a major advertising agency I had a producer ask me once why I let so many of my co-workers talk to me the way they did. She said, “Dude, you’re a Vice President. You outrank every one of them. Why do you let them talk down to you the way they do?” That took me a little off guard, because I never really thought about it, but the truth is I am a very affable person most of the time. I can take a joke pretty well. And more often than once, professionally, I have stepped in to take the blame for things I didn’t do just so everyone would get their head out of their ass and get back to solving the problem at hand.
You see, these are just a few examples of what some of us extroverts do to move through life. I enjoy people. Every person I meet is a potential new friend, and I don’t want to lose any time trying to make that happen. That is how I enjoy life and I’m willing to be the fall guy if it keeps those around me feeling more at ease. I’ve also learned that kind of transparency can sometimes make people nervous. It can make them skeptical of you and in the end they will project upon you all the things they themselves fear. Just like my friends’ moms did back when I was 12 years old.
So, for my introverted friends, as always I have your back! I understand when your energy meter runs out and you have to flee the room to go recharge. I’ll entertain the crowd and give you cover. But remember, just because we are extroverts doesn’t make us dangerous. And it doesn’t mean life was easier for us. Party on y’all.
Letters From Nod 