Seeking Dignity in Social Media

Question: “Will you strive for justice and peace among all people, and respect the dignity of every human being?”
Answer: “I will, with God’s help.”
— Baptismal Covenant, Book of Common Prayer

There seems to be so much vitriol on Facebook these days. It’s enough for me to consider whether I really need to be on there as much as I am. One thing I’ve learned reading all the comments I see flying around is no matter what you say there is an audience out there waiting to be offended by it. When I look at my list of Facebook friends, and it’s a strangely long list, I can’t help but to think, “Who among them will I offend if I agree with this post, or if I disagree with that post?” This causes me to be rather quiet most of the time when shit hits the social network fan.

Before you judge me for being soft, politically correct, or wishy washy, let’s think about this for a minute. Sure, I’m a person of faith, but let’s put religion aside right now and concentrate on respect and dignity. I’ll get to religion later.

I have never picked my friends based on their faith, or their politics. Nor do I pick them based on race or creed. I pick my friends based on genuine personal encounter. My friends come from my love of motorcycles, bagpipe music, art, humor, beer, and yes, even from church. But the bonding agent of my friendships is not whether they agree with me on everything, or whether we can mutually harbor a separate or superior identity to those outside of our circle. I have some dear friends who are either politically or religiously my polar opposites, and I have enjoyed some of the richest and most enlightening conversations with them over the years.

I have witnessed outrageous and mean-spirited comments coming from both sides of the political and philosophical spectrum. And frankly, it hurts my heart. Sure, I have my opinions on many of the issues out there, but I also know there are two sides to every situation. So, if I take seriously my baptismal vow to “respect the dignity of every human being,” how am I to conduct myself in the public discourse of modern social media?

I know that my own personal belief system is highly complex. To simply call me a conservative or a liberal would be ridiculously short-sighted. But we live in a world where we all want simple, fast labels for everyone around us. I don’t think I’m alone in complex beliefs either. Social media has given us all a way to passive aggressively aim our disapproval or disgust at others through the use of memes and the sharing of pop-culture antidotes on our walls and Twitter feeds. I’m alarmed at how quickly so many of us will rally behind pop culture figures who are almost always Hollywood fabricated caricatures. It is a disservice to the complexity of our beliefs to let these people speak for us. Here’s a fact: I really don’t know Miley Cyrus, and I really don’t know Phil Robertson.

I do, however, know my friends. I have great, wonderful friends right here on Facebook. I have many, many conservative friends for whom I would lay my life on the line. I have Christian friends here on Facebook who hold deep evangelical beliefs. My faith and conservatism may vary from theirs by some degree, but it’s not those beliefs that make us friends. It is my personal relationship with them. It is the looks in their eyes when we talk, or the fact I’ve experienced real life situations with them. As I said earlier, these are the things on which I build friendships.

Perhaps a closer look at my friends may reveal something of myself. I have many dear friends and close family who are gay. Among them are some of the most honest and caring people I know, and some of them have a faith I am certain is deeper and more authentic than my own. Some of them are politically conservative, some are atheists, and some are liberal, but I really don’t care because they are my friends. I also have nearly a dozen Muslim friends. I know for a fact some of these friends are the most kind and peaceful people I have ever known. Most importantly, they are not my friends because they are Muslim, they are my friends because I know them and we have shared life together. The same can be said about every other friend I have.

So what am I? Am I a conservative or a liberal? Does it make me liberal to hold friendships sacred even when we don’t share the same background or sexual preference? Am I not allowed to be conservative if I refuse to disparage my friends in social media? Am I not a Christian if we can’t come to terms on the tenants of Baptism expressed in different denominations of the same faith? Am I not a liberal if I happen to support the right to own a handgun? This much I know; I am an American. I am a defender of free speech, but don’t think for a second that exercising your right to free speech won’t necessarily make you look like a fool in front of your friends.

So really, what I decide to say in social media has little to do with my religion, but has everything to do with my concepts of the respect and dignity of every human being. Just because someone may claim to be speaking from a Christian perspective doesn’t remove the vulgarity of their comments. Using paraphrases of scripture to back-up the marginalization of another group is hardly Christ-like. As for me, I will stand naked and exposed with my own words in all of their imperfection, and I will stand by my friends. All of you.

The good person out of the good treasure of the heart produces good, and the evil person out of evil treasure produces evil; for it is out of the abundance of the heart that the mouth speaks.
— Luke 6:44-46